I get a lot of questions about whether or not I’m like this in real life.  People assume that because I’m a writer, somehow all of my snark is well thought out in advance.  The truth couldn’t be farther from that if I tried.  The reality is that my blog, my Facebook page, and conversations I have with friends in real life are largely made up of a severe form of word vomit that I have yet to name.  In fact, I hope they name the condition after me.

**All of these blog posts are transcriptions of real conversations I’ve had with friends.  All friends involved are aware of this series and have given me prior approval to include our conversations in the series.  I NEVER share a conversation without permission and names are not used to be polite.  And because because most people don’t want to admit that I am their friend.

 

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Shit I Say in Real Life: Weight Loss Goals

Me: I’m losing visible weight but not on the scale. I hate that point in weight loss!

Me: BTW- your leather cuffs are on my weight loss goals rewards list

Her: OHHH that’s so fun! You can do it. You can.

Her: You have such hard goals.  But you will do all of them.

Me: They are hard, but if they were easy I wouldn’t be able to point at other people and call them pussies to their face.

Me: We all have our reasons.  That is mine.