Here’s an interesting thing that is happening in this country right now, and I’ve heard it called a variety of things. Most Recently, I saw it referred to as “The Fat Acceptance Movement.” And I have to say, that is a rather rude way of referring to it. There are multiple sides to the movement. Those who want to shame you for wanting to lose weight and to embrace being unfit, those who have a valid reason for wanting to be accepted for the simple fact that they will never be a size four, and those who are completely against it in any way. I feel somewhere in the middle.
The simple fact is that none of these three opinions really hit (MY) home. I am currently overweight, and not just by the body dysmorphic American standard. I’m overweight by my own standards as well. My body is naturally thin. Sure I put on weight and lose it and put it on again. But the reality is, I don’t curve. I have no butt, small boobs and forget measuring my “waist.” I don’t even know where my “natural waist” is, oh, right, because I don’t have one. I don’t curve.
You can say that I have unreal standards or whatever you’d like, but while everyone is out there chanting for change and to be accepted as they are “no matter what size,” that size has to be above a size six for your voice to count.
If you are a female, you have done this. Heck, I HAVE done this. For what reason? Simply because we are told it’s ok and not only that it’s ok, but that we should. It’s shameful to be thin. Thin girls aren’t “real” girls. Real women have curves… So, clearly, I don’t make the cut.
You NEVER mock someone who is heavy. You are not supposed to comment on food or weight or diet around someone who is overweight, but if that person is thin, you can say whatever you want and that’s ok.
That means that
I once had someone tell me they didn’t like me because I was skinny and played sports in high school, and you know what? People felt it was ok that she said that, I was the bitch for being offended. People make snide comments and don’t bat an eye.
How many times have you scoffed at someone and then chastised them for working out/going running/lifting weights/eating a salad because they are “too skinny”? How many times have you remarked at a co-workers weight for being too thin? Have you ever made a joke about them? Even if it was to their face in the guise of being a funny friend? How many times have you told a “friend” you hate them for their weight, or that they should eat a burger, or that they need to put on weight?
Whether I am the current 200 pounds I am, being stared in my wheelchair like somehow my weight is my disability, or I am 105 pounds and at my job being made fun of for being skinny, it makes no difference to my feelings. They are hurt either way. I feel shame either way. I go home and look in the mirror and wonder why someone wants to treat me that way either way.
I’m not telling you to feel sorry for my flat chest, my non-existent waist, or my lack of a butt (which I never really thought mattered until Jennifer Lopez and her giant butt came along). I’m telling you that it hurt my feelings to be jokingly called “a board with hair” in junior high. I’m telling you that it’s hurtful to make fun of someone for being thin.
And for some reason, our society tells females that those backhanded compliments, those “mock” jokes about someone who is thin, those little things you say to someone who is skinny and eating a salad should be acceptable. But you are still criticizing someone for their weight. And while I agree that every woman is born to be a certain size and that size is not the same for everyone, why are we pushing so hard to say that the pear shaped beauty should be accepted in all her curvaceous glory, but that the naturally thin girl is starving herself, is unhealthy and probably has an eating disorder, is TOO thin, is horrible for liking salad, is ridiculous for WANTING to run 5 miles a week, needs to put weight on, needs to eat a burger once in a while, and is too boney.