I get a lot of questions about whether or not I’m like this in real life.  People assume that because I’m a writer, somehow all of my snark is well thought out in advance.  The truth couldn’t be farther from that if I tried.  The reality is that my blog, my Facebook page, and conversations I have with friends in real life are largely made up of a severe form of word vomit that I have yet to name.  In fact, I hope they name the condition after me.

**All of these blog posts are transcriptions of real conversations I’ve had with friends.  All friends involved are aware of this series and have given me prior approval to include our conversations in the series.  I NEVER share a conversation without permission and names are not used to be polite.  And because most people don’t want to admit that I am their friend.

Shit I Say in Real Life: Throwing Feces in Public

Me: I’m pissy too because I haven’t slept all week. that is NOT helping

Her: Hahahah 

I’m pissy today too

Me: I swear, after 8 months, I’m never going to be able to rejoin society succesfully

Her: Hahaha

 Maybe not

Me: I have a blog post about my inability to put up with bullshit anymore. LOL And how I probably can never rejoin society now because I’ve become too feral

Her: Hahahaha I can’t wait to read it. You may need shots

Me: I feel like I no longer have a grasp on what is acceptable (not that I ever had much of that) and I’ll get mad at someone stealing my parking space and start screaming and throwing feces

Her: They would deserve it

Me: Yeah they would