This winter marked the beginning of a series on Instagram that I had long since been saying I would do, but never actually got off my lazy butt to do it.

Whore in the Drawer was finally realized December 1st, 2014 and is now becoming an ongoing series throughout the year. But let’s see her humble beginnings and review her first month of whoring it up!

Whore in the Drawer: A whore in review

 

Her Humble Beginnings:

Whore in the Drawer: Humble Beginnings

… From humble beginnings

 

Someone used my Charlie Brown Christmas tree as a stripper pole.

Whore in the Drawer: Someone has been using my Charlie Brown Christmas tree as a stripper pole.

Someone has been using my Charlie Brown Christmas tree as a stripper pole.

 

Go home silly girl, you’re drunk! Lost your shirt, pants on backwards, drinking straight from the tap! Pull your shit together woman!

Whore in the Drawer: Go home silly girl, you're drunk! Lost your shirt, pants on backwards, drinking straight from the tap! Pull your shit together woman!

Go home silly girl, you’re drunk! Lost your shirt, pants on backwards, drinking straight from the tap! Pull your shit together woman!

 

And now the gnomes!? The innocent garden gnomes!? What’s a little lap dance between friends I suppose…

Whore in the Drawer:And now the gnomes!? The innocent garden gnomes!? What's a little lap dance between friends i suppose...

And now the gnomes!? The innocent garden gnomes!? What’s a little lap dance between friends i suppose…

 

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life… Or at the bare minimum maybe don’t binge on my candy and pass out in a pool of your own vomit.

Whore in the Drawer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life... Or at the bare minimum maybe don't binge on my candy and pass out in a pool of your own vomit

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life… Or at the bare minimum maybe don’t binge on my candy and pass out in a pool of your own vomit

 

She came in like a wrecking ball…

Whore in the Drawer: She came in like a wrecking ball

She came in like a wrecking ball…

 

I’m not sure that’s our whore anymore… Should we be concerned?

Whore in the Drawer: I'm not sure that's our whore anymore... Should we be concerned?

I’m not sure that’s our whore anymore… Should we be concerned?

 

He’s got her bent over a barrel… Literally (p.s. Who knew Mr. Potato Head was such a perv!?)

Whore in the Drawer: Whore in the Drawer: Bent over a Barrel<br /> He's got her bent over a barrel... Literally (ps. Who knew mr potato head was such a perv!?)

Whore in the Drawer: Bent over a Barrel
He’s got her bent over a barrel… Literally (p.s. Who knew Mr. Potato Head was such a perv!?)

 

Haters gonna hate, Whores gonna whore it up

Whore in the Drawer: Haters gonna hate, whores gonna whore it up

Haters gonna hate, whores gonna whore it up

 

This weekend’s Whore in a Drawer was brought you buy a twerking whore in my microwave to see what my husband would say when he opened it.

(Spoiler: He almost microwaved her and then yelled to stop leaving my whore around in random places)

Quagmire approves both the twerking and this message.

Whore in the Drawer: This weekends whore in a drawer is brought you buy a twerking whore in my microwave to see what my husband says when he opens it.<br /> Quagmire approves both the twerking and this message.

This weekend’s whore in a drawer is brought you buy a twerking whore in my microwave to see what my husband says when he opens it.
Quagmire approves both the twerking and this message.

 

If you don’t hand over the tots, I’m gonna cut you so deep you’ll have a chin

Whore in the Drawer: If you don't hand over the tots, i'm gonna cut you so deep you'll have a chin

If you don’t hand over the tots, I’m gonna cut you so deep you’ll have a chin

 

The whore wished you all a Merry Christmas and offered free mustache rides as her special gift to you

Whore in the Drawer: The whore would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and is offering free mustache rides as her special gift to you

The whore would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and is offering free mustache rides as her special gift to you

Nothing like a little strip poker and booze to ring in 2015!

Whore in the Drawer: Nothing like a little strip poker and booze to ring in 2015!

Nothing like a little strip poker and booze to ring in 2015!

 

Happy New Year from the Whore and Friends!!! May your 2015 be awesome and filled with Whores!

Whore in the Drawer: Happy New Year from The Whore and Friends!!! May your 2015 be awesome!

Happy New Year from the Whore and Friends!!! May your 2015 be awesome!