How I Lost My Identity as a Blogger

I have been a blogger for so long at this point that it almost makes me a hipster. I’ve been blogging that long. Seriously.

But the reality is that in all of those years of blogging, I belonged to a single niche. It was the niche I unwittingly entered when I launched my first blog called “Deployment Woes.” As the name suggests, it was in the military spouse niche. I stayed in the niche longer than I really wanted to.

I do not want anyone to think there is anything wrong with being a milspouse blogger. There really isn’t. But I was a very different personal all that time ago. I was newly wed, my husband was deployed, I had moved to a new city and knew no one and I needed a place to process all of that.

It didn’t take long to find others and soon I was an active member of the community, making friends, and finding that much needed understanding and support.

But you aren’t in your early 20’s for long. And you don’t stay the same person when you go through the ups and downs of life anyway, let alone some of our ups and downs. I have recently found myself no longer feeling a part of the community.

I have not been booted out or anything like that. I just simply found that I don’t want to write about what it’s like to be a Reservists wife. I don’t want to write about the differences between us and active duty families. I’m tired of writing the same handful of posts over and over and over and that is all anyone wants from me anymore.

The shift started with a move to a new name and new branding. Same me, new URL. But I didn’t anticipate that that small change was actually going to end up destroying my blogging identity.

While it was an intentional move, I didn’t intend to leave the community all together, just open myself up more.

What I ended up with instead was a blog I wasn’t sure what to do with anymore. It was a place that wasn’t my comfort zone, no matter what I said the blog was going to be. I branched out, and in doing so, I left behind an identity without really thinking about who I am now.

It may seem odd to feel a loss over something so trivial. It probably is a bit odd. But the online military spouse blogging community was the only military spouse community I’ve ever known. Being a military spouse without a community suddenly feels lonely.

So, I’m a blogger without a niche. Without an identity. I have my snark, my illness, and my potty mouth and not much else to offer the world. And suddenly, I find myself staring at my computer, missing my blog so much it hurts, but unable to figure out what I’m doing it for anyway.