Seronegative Arthritis and Crap

On a Sunday in November of 2013 I woke up unable to walk.  I had already had a rough weekend filled with ER visits for horrible hives that lead to anaphylaxis.  That Sunday morning started this long journey I am on.  For the last eight months, I have been in and out of doctors offices, had more blood drawn than I knew my body could produce in a year, and worked hard with a variety of medical professionals to take me from bedridden to (someday) being able to leave my house on my own. Life isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t mean I fail to have a snarky attitude or give the universe a middle finger when things get tough.

I’m the girl with the designer handbag using food stamps to pay for her groceries. But don't judge so quickly.

I’m the Girl with the Designer Handbag Using Food Stamps to Pay for Her Groceries

Posted on May 17th, 2017

      I'm that designer handbag carrying girl with food stamps, talking on her iPhone 6. And I have had my own critical eye…

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To the Person Who Wants to Trade Places: That is not a compliment to the chronically ill

To the Person Who Wants to Trade Places: That is not a compliment to the chronically ill

Posted on Jan 6th, 2017

  It sounds crazy when I say it out loud, but there are people in this world who think that telling me they wish they could trade lives so…

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100 Years of Medical Advancements and I’m Still “Just Another Hysterical Woman”

Posted on Dec 6th, 2016

When you are just another hysterical woman, where does that leave you? When you have an illness and no one wants to believe you, where does that…

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What Makes You Qualified to Judge My Disability?

What Makes You Qualified to Judge My Disability?

Posted on Sep 8th, 2016

Just because someone doesn't meet your personal definition of disabled, doesn't give you the right to judge them and deem them not disabled in your…

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You Don't Have to be Perfect, You Just Have to Try: A message from my doctor

You Don’t Have to be Perfect, You Just Have to Try

Posted on May 31st, 2016

I was sitting in my doctor’s office. One of four appoints I had that week, which is just one more than my average week. I was waiting to see my…

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It’s Surprisingly Hard to Relearn to Walk Backwards

Posted on May 3rd, 2016

  A funny thing happens when you are housebound, and largely bedbound. You become a near literal blob as your muscle atrophy and your body…

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11 Brutally Honest Confessions from Someone Living with Chronic Illness

11 Brutally Honest Confessions From a Person Living with Chronic Illness

Posted on Jan 11th, 2016

These are the real thoughts and feelings that I may have on any given day. A real, unfiltered look at life with chronic illness and chronic…

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10 Cures for Autoimmune Diseases According to the Internet

Cures for Autoimmune Diseases According to the Internet

Posted on Jan 4th, 2016

Autoimmune diseases are terribly misunderstood.  Even in the medical community they are largely just a big question mark branded onto a person.…

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Chronic Intractable Migraines: It's not a headache, it's a medical condition. There is a difference between headaches and migraines. And then there are migraine conditions that are different from the norm. They can’t all be treated the same, they don’t all feel the same, and they don’t all affect people in the same way.

Chronic Intractable Migraine: It’s NOT a Headache, It’s a Medical Condition

Posted on Dec 15th, 2015

  Who hasn’t had a headache? Right? I get a headache just typing the word it seems. But there is an actual difference between a headache and…

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How I Use a Pedometer to Manage My Arthritis

Posted on Dec 2nd, 2015

  After a year of hardly walking, my Rheumatologist suggested a pedometer. I had read this advice in nearly every single article about coping…

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Are You Sick or Crazy?

Are You Sick or Crazy?

Posted on Oct 30th, 2015

  It’s been almost two years. On a Sunday in November of 2013, after having attending a military ball with my husband, I woke up unable…

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The Lies Depression Tells You- Remember, depression lies

The Lies Depression Tells you

Posted on Oct 14th, 2015

  I am an emotive person. Sort of. I’m guarded and usually unwilling to truly share who I am with people. But when I’m upset or in some…

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Stage of Grief: Anger. Stage of Life? Unknown. Sometimes the anger is overwhelming, almost blinding. It's to be expected, I suppose. There are stages of grief even when you are mourning your former self, and no one can stay calm and collected forever.

Stage of Grief: Anger. Stage of Life? Unknown

Posted on Aug 10th, 2015

Sometimes the anger is overwhelming, almost blinding. It's to be expected, I suppose. There are stages of grief even when you are mourning your…

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Can you have a midlife crisis in your 30’s? Maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Whatever this is that I’m going through. Maybe it’s an early identity, age, and life crisis. Maybe the process was sped up by the illness. I suppose there are some things in life that are always going to be an educated guess.

Can You Have a Midlife Crisis in Your 30’s?

Posted on Jul 27th, 2015

Maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Whatever this is that I’m going through. Maybe it’s an early identity, age, and life crisis. Maybe the process was…

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Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

Apathy

Posted on Jul 24th, 2015

Apathy: I'm not sure when it happened, looking back now. It was a gradual decent for me, as I imagine it is for everyone. But suddenly, I found…

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The Arthritis Wrecking Ball

The Arthritis Wrecking Ball

Posted on Jun 12th, 2015

  There are mornings I wake up and yawn and stretch and wiggle my toes with minimal pain. There are days that I can go up and down the stairs…

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You Have a 100% Survival Rate so Far. Don’t Give Up Now.

Posted on Apr 17th, 2015

On my most trying of days. On the days I swear I can't walk another inch, when I'm sure it's hopeless and I can't see the point in fighting anymore,…

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Why I waited to see a doctor and shouldn't have

Why I Waited to See My Doctor and Shouldn’t Have

Posted on Mar 13th, 2015

I stood there, in front of my open closet door, for what felt like five minutes. Why was I standing there. It was on the tip of my outstretched…

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Limited Mobility is NOT an Excuse. You can lay down and wait to die, or you can keep pushing until you find a way to meet your goals. I choose the latter.

Maybe I’m Crazy, but Limited Mobility is NOT an Excuse

Posted on Feb 6th, 2015

I was recently talking with friends about my “limited mobility.” The topic of the Tough Mudder came up and I mentioned I was itching to get back…

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If My Seronegative Arthritis Was Like Mary Poppins...If my arthritis were like Mary Poppins, it would drift in gently, never over stay it's welcome and be gone with the changing breeze

If My Seronegative Arthritis Was Like Mary Poppins

Posted on Jan 30th, 2015

I could feel it coming. As the cold front moved in and the convergence zone began to rock and rage against all that nature was trying to mix, I felt…

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Let it Go... All of It

Let it Go… All of It

Posted on Jan 20th, 2015

It’s been 14 months (almost to the day as of this writing) that I got sick. That is 423 days, or one year, one month, and 28 days. That’s A LOT…

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I don't have flare ups, I have break downs...

I Don’t Have Flareups, I Have Breakdowns

Posted on Jan 14th, 2015

Today started like any other day does. Each morning, I begin to squint and wipe the sleep from my eyes before I start to take mental stock/inventory.…

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911 Yelled at Me and I Almost Burned Alive...

911 Yelled at Me and I Was Almost Burned Alive. The Stupidest Things Happen to Me…

Posted on Jan 7th, 2015

As a housebound adult, there are lots of times I enjoy ignoring the front door. I love it when people selling stupid stuff knock and knock and knock,…

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How Do You Mourn Yourself

How Do You Mourn Yourself?

Posted on Dec 17th, 2014

One thing no one ever warns you about when you get sick is the possibility you won't get better. As children we crawl in bed and our parents tuck our…

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A Sunny Day with a Giant F You and a Middle Finger

A Sunny Day with a Giant F You and a Middle Finger

Posted on Sep 22nd, 2014

Nine or so months ago, I woke up unable to walk.  I’ve never been one to sleep much after a night of drinking, and it’s always been up to me to…

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10 Things Your Friends with Autoimmune Arthritis Want You to Know // itsnotmeyousuck.com

10 Things Your Friends with Autoimmune Arthritis Wish You Knew

Posted on Aug 14th, 2014

  I do not have the body of a 90 year old. I have an autoimmune disease. Referring to what I go through in terms of age, implying that…

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Comedy is a Tumor that Grows on the Soul

Wearing Humor Like Body Armor

Posted on Aug 12th, 2014

  I normally like Matt Walsh and his blog, but his post about suicide is terribly misinformed. There is a HUGE difference between feeling…

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Just Because Someone Tells You Your Limitation Doesn't Mean They're Right

Just Because Someone Tells You Your Limitation Doesn’t Mean They’re Right

Posted on Aug 2nd, 2014

I have been called many things in my life. But one thing that has always been true when someone gets mad at me is when they announce to the universe…

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All Time Is All Time - The Good Days and the Bad

The Good Days and the Bad

Posted on Jun 4th, 2014

As with anything in life, any trial, tribulation, or obstacle, there are good days and bad days.  It means that within my little bubble of a rare…

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Who Will Hold My Hand

Who Will Hold MY Hand?

Posted on May 25th, 2014

I’m an optimistic person to a fault.  Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt, even if they have previously proven me wrong.  There is always a…

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What Makes You a Woman?

What Makes You a Woman?

Posted on May 17th, 2014

The questions is not about femininity.  You can be a tomboy and have that part of you that feels like a girl.  But we all carry with us, in the…

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Learning to Say No

Learning to Say No

Posted on Apr 23rd, 2014

  What’s really funny is that I see posts about learning to say “no” all the time.  But they are ALL geared towards children.  Every…

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I Have Lost My Muchness

I Have Lost My Muchness

Posted on Apr 10th, 2014

Sometimes the tears are just below the surface.  There are days that just updating my Facebook Fan Page with the latest news from my various doctors…

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I May Not Look Sick, But You Don't Look Stupid. Looks Can Be Deceiving

I See You Staring. Trust Me, You Aren’t That Smooth

Posted on Mar 11th, 2014

  I have bipolar disorder, so I’m no stranger to people not understanding me.  It’s hard when your moods are iffy to commit to things…

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When Lonely is Too Small a Word // itsnotmeyousuck.com

When Lonely is Too Small a Word…

Posted on Jan 31st, 2014

Sometimes, I want to type that I’m lonely.  But lonely doesn’t seem to do justice to all that I feel inside.  Lonely denotes a young woman who…

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When No One Believes in You

Snarky Isn’t Just an Attitude, It’s a Way of Life

Posted on Jan 11th, 2014

  Two months ago I had a singular event that changed my life.  I woke up on a random Sunday morning unable to walk.  My joints were…

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Angrily Thankful

Posted on Nov 28th, 2013

I am both angry and thankful.  It doesn’t seem like those two emotions can co-exist in one person for very long, but it’s true.  I have these…

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Thoughtfully Thankful

Posted on Nov 26th, 2013

November rolls around each year and everyone begins to post the mundane parts of their day they are thankful for.  “I’m thankful my coffee…

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Today I Cried Because I am Selfish

Posted on Nov 20th, 2013

I recently posted about weakness and how I was taught not to cry.  Not even alone.   This past weekend, I traveled a ways from home with my…

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